I feel restless so I should probably write
These past few weeks have been really good for me. I went to Harry Potter world with my family, went to the Lake district with my brother and dad, went to Warsaw with some epic friends and have been talking to people which God sent.
These past few months after Uni I’ve been scared and ignoring my feelings. My time at University is now over and now I must make a living in this world. That is actually a heavy transition for me. I’ve been in education all my life and now that I’m out into the world with no job experience what so ever I know have to deal with getting a job.
It’s scary and weird and frightening like when I did my gap year. That was so stressful getting a placement and so scary starting up. I didn’t realise how much weight I put on university. How much it changed me and how much I needed it.
Now I need to move on and these past few weeks has made me realise something, I want a life and I don’t want to be sitting around any more.
I want a job, anything at the moment so I can get some money in and some experience. I would love for my life to fast forward in 2 years where I would hope that things would be better.
However life is not like that and God is teaching me things, so many things. He is teaching me that there is so much to live for and that it’s okay to make mistakes, to have crappy jobs and not know what you want from life. Thank God that I have God. He is teaching me about patience, perseverance and to accept the things in life I cannot control.
University was easy and I had an identity. Now I’m in a different world where it is harder and maintaining your identity will change. I still have God though, that makes me happy.
So now I am restless and excited about the world a head.
On sunday this random man (called Carl) came up to and just started speaking to me about his life. He had a degree in geology but got a job at making pork pies and other things. He then realised he wanted something else in life and did a masters in IT. He then found a job related to it and was and still is happy with his life and he is like 50 something.
On monday on my way to good friend’s weeding I got a lift with a guy called Clive. He was old too and he was telling me about his life. He was in some office job and although he was good at what he did he hated office work. He then worked in a warehouse and loved it but when he was 40 he knew he would have to leave because his strength would fail him. He then got a job drivings lorries in the same company and he loves it because he mostly drives in the countryside and he loves the greenery.
Today I was speaking to my minister, called Andy and its great to know that he was doing a degree in medicine and half way through he decided to become a minister. Okay so he didn’t tell me that today, he told me that ages ago However there was a lot of things he wants me to do in the church and a lot of things he was asking me that could help the church. I’ll talk about that sometime in the future but not today.
Overall I did not expect to meet Carl and it turned out that I didn’t have to meet Clive because my friends did have space in their cars but they were stupid and didn’t realise. I also remembered Andy’s life because I met up with him.
So what is God telling me. Get a job and let it be anything. Thank you God so much for giving me hope. I do not know where my path will lead me but I know you have helped to ease my fears and anxieties. Thank you God that you are with me and that you are my hiding place. I want to change and I want to keep moving. I stopped for a little bit but know I should press forward.
My life is changing and even if it was going downhill I would still praise God and say hallelujah to the God on high.
The reason I feel restless? I feel restless because know I want to move on.